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"Thanks Donna, makes losing a little easier," said Jim.I eventually gave each of the guys the same neck massage as they continued to lose to Mary, and I received each one's last chip as a tip."You know," remarked Greg, "I think Tom hired this maid to get us distracted. Too bad he wasn't here to see it work. Fastest I've been cleaned out in a while." You may be right," said Mary, "but I didn't hear any objections! I'll tell you what, it is quite early, and I did say there wouldn't be any losers tonight, except maybe for Tom. Donna?" Yes mam?" I don't want the gentlemen to go away unhappy, and I noticed that they all became exited in response to your ministrations, so I would like you to give each of them a long deep kiss before they leave! You guys think you can handle that?"Stunned, but not dumb, they chorused a resounding "YES!"I too was quite stunned. "Well? Go on Donna! You said you'd follow all my instructions tonight," said Mary.I gave her my most pleading, puppy dog look, but. But, at least they can say they've played there.St Mellion? Oh of course, dear boy, play there all the time.TPC Sawgrass? Yep, been there too. (Only on the Nintendo though).And so on. Lying bastards!I am no exception, sad to say. Related below is a blow by blow account of my miraculous game at Hindhead Golf Club, in the wilds of Surrey. Did you know it's a qualifying course for the open? Well it is or was and that should give you a clue about the degree of difficulty faced. (Bet you're hooked now eh?)Now, I am not going to give you all eighteen holes worth of tragedy, bad luck and mis-fortune suffered while in the company of two very good players, but I will relate a truncated and précis version, cutting out the swear words and many of the errant shots.Hole 1. Played off the yellow tees. Par 4. 401 yards long. Straight ... ish.The tee shot needs to have at least a 200 yard carry to get over the purple heather in front of you and down both sides of the fairway. My drive was anything.
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