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Most People didn’t understand it and even 4 of my 8 family members called me faggot which bothered me at the time. Now the word faggot empowers me. I love being called a faggot and it has become an important part of my identity. I’ve since removed myself from that negativity. Starting this year, I’ve acquired more clothes and become more open about who I am. Lots of people have seen me (family/friends) it has made me more confident. Nothing like how I was when I was 13. When they ask me why I have slutty stripper outfits in my closet, I tell them they are mines. They ask why I do it or if I’m gay. I simply reply I’ve had my time being a male and enjoyed it but I know that I feel better about myself when I’m a girl. I have a more vibrant and energetic attitude about life when I live this way. Being dressed and dolled up. It doesn’t bother me because I’ve accepted myself that what matters. The criticism from my family hit me really hard though. I’ve tried to kill myself 2 times because. Monday, the 22nd, during Thanksgiving week, I asked my parents if I could bring Jeana to Thanksgiving dinner. This was pretty much a first for me. Shelley Talbot had come over several times back when we were seeing each other, but we had also been working on the Science Fair together, and besides, since neither of us could drive, a parent always was around. Jeana was the only girl I had ever asked to bring over.Hamilton immediately said no since it was against the rules. Everybody ignored him, and my parents said it would be all right. Mom asked if I had already asked Jeana. I answered, “No, I wanted to clear it with you, first, before asking.” That certainly satisfied my mother, and we all continued to ignore Hamilton.In retrospect, that was a mistake. The next night at dinner, Mom asked if Jeana was coming to Thanksgiving dinner. I just shook my head. “No, Jeana and her parents are driving up to Long Island to spend the weekend with family. They leave Wednesday after.
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