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The boy couldn't breathe. Ignored by his family, his tinyeyes drank in the impossibility of it. A boy changing into a girl.It was over in seconds, but the image branded itself everlastingly intohis heart, his soul, into the very center of his existence. Sixty yearslater those few seconds of inspired animation would be as bright, asclear as ever, forever at the front door of memory.He didn't know what he saw. He didn't know why his stomach leapt, whyhe felt suddenly weightless. He was too young; all he could do was letthe feelings tsunami over him.But when he finally felt normal, he knew one thing. Somehow, he knewone thing. He was only five, he didn't yet have the words for it, butsomehow, he knew it: Never tell. Never, never, never tell. Never tell.Never tell anyone.********************************************************************Six years later, and another drive-in movie, in another state andanother town. He is big enough now to sit outside the car on a lawnchair. He can. My boyfriend Dave was by the door setting up his video camera."You like a drink baby?" One of the women asked me, she was in her mid 50s , bleached blonde hair cut in a pageboy style that was so in vogue in 1975, she was wearing a tight violet coloured blouse and a tight black skirt that was far too short for her age, "Give her a big vodka Verna love, warm her up a bit", laughed the large man on the chair opposite, his big belly shaking as he laughed. I took the tumbler from her with a slightly shaky hand, "Poor lamb!" She turned to my boyfriend, "you sure she's up for this Dave?" "'course she is Liz, have I ever let you down?" He finished fixing up the camera, "right you lot ready then? Decide where we start and we'll be good to go in five minutes."I sipped at my drink, the liquid burned at my throat, over the past six months this drink had become a friend, burn or no burn, I swallowed down the rest, "Fuck me Davey Boy this one drinks like a soddin' fish!" The guy with the beer gut.
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