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Of course we wanted to consummate our marriage so we undressed together for the first time, climbed into bed and I lay on top of her and began to try and penetrate her tight virgin cunt with my little 3 inch erection. I don't know if she was aware how tiny my peepee was - as she had no experience with mens' cocks - and I pumped and pumped but could not “find” her cunt and she wouldn’t “guide” me in. I tried for a few minutes but I just was pumping air with my tiny peepee. Then I moved my body down a little and my peepee started rubbing against the inside of her right thigh. It felt so good I started humping it and after 30 seconds or so my tiny peepee squirted a load of cum all over her thigh and the bedsheets. Well, she threw a hissy fit – all upset and angry that I didn’t "de-flower" her and that I had made a mess on her thigh and on a small area of the fresh bedsheet. In between sobbing and screaming she made me get a wet towel and clean up her thigh and damp bedsheet. Then she. Use your hands, it's only about six or eight inches down."I burst out laughing. All this song and dance and I was on a kid's treasure hunt? I had a pretty serious day ahead of me, and maybe it was appropriate that it began with farce."Well, don't just giggle like a fool, Larry, dig it up," she said impatiently.Still laughing, I knelt down and followed her instructions. "And this is your idea of security, sugar?" I chortled. "Remind me never to give you my life's savings to protect. I mean, all it would take would be a curious squirrel—" Hey, fuck you and the horse you rode in on," she snapped, sounding genuinely offended. "Just fucking dig, asshole."I got my laughter under control quickly. This was sure no time to piss her off. As I continued digging—which wasn't as easy as it sounded, the ground was pretty thoroughly packed—I thought it wise to back off. "I'm sorry, honey," I told her contritely."It's OK, darling," she said after a minute. "Look, I was a little rushed. I did it that.
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