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"Clever. Maybe you should sleep though. You kinda look like a ghost and its scary," He teases. I only grunt and open my to go tupperware before nibbling on the cold eggs and toast while Theo goes to shower. In my exhaustion, my brain asks why he isn't sharing with his girlfriend, or what about other friends, and why allow a girl to stay so openly in a studio with him...? He must be gay, I conclude as I hear the shower go off and I finish my toast. I toss it in the trash before going over to my bag and finding my cotton shorts and an old high school jersey. I pull off my sweater, unclasp my black bra, and just stand facing one of the old windows looking over a beautiful green field and then the bright bright blue of the ocean. Alice you are so not in Kansas anymore, I think with a grin as I stretch topless in the window before I hear a noise behind me. I spin around with my arms covering my chest as I see Theo staring. "Enjoying the view?" he quips. "Are you?" I reply as I pull my. .. It doesn't matter anymore. The only thing that is important to me is the way you treated me while you were fucking him. The lack of love, lack of respect and the general apathy that you displayed towards me has hurt me and led me to despair so deep that it scares me. More than once I have even considered suicide. I almost justified that by saying that at least I was worth more to you dead than alive." Oh my god! I never meant to hurt you so badly. Mike, I was not trying to hurt you. My only excuse is that I was so deeply mired in my own selfishness that I refused to even entertain any thoughts about how this might have been affecting you. If you had hurt yourself or taken your own life, the guilt would have totally destroyed me. It might have even driven me to take my own life." Mary that is enough about that. I believe we are both well beyond doing anything as foolish as that. We must always remember that the children still need both of us. Now getting back on track, I don't.
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