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Sleep tight and I'll see you in the morning."Lottë did not sleep tight. She was unable even to get to sleep. 'If I love him so much why am I so frightened? I know he won't rush me. He's said so and Mum said he would be gentle and loving and I know he will. So why am I being such a wimp because that's what I am? People say that making love is special and fulfilling and fun. Bloody Lawrence Baptistson was none of those! Those slobbery lips, that foul breath, his hands squeezing my boobs, his fingers groping me and then that great thing being forced into me. It hurt. God, it hurt! But Lawrence Bloody Baptistson wasn't Robin Stephens, my sweet, gentle, loving Robin. He won't treat me roughly. He won't hurt me. I know, I know, I know but I'm still frightened. I'm still revolted by the thought even though I know that's why I was born.'That triggered further thoughts. Her parents had done it, at least three times, and she had seen Daddy fondle Mum and they had loved it. Her psychiatrist had. As I cried pathetically to myself my phone rang. I angrily peeled it out of my pocket and looked at the screen. Who else but Zoe, I picked up and spoke. “Hey, what’s up?” I said confidently. “Hey sweetheart it’s me, are you here yet?” she said, I could hear voices in the background as well as music. “No not yet...” I said pausing, “you go on inside and I’ll meet you in” I lied. She cheerfully agreed and hung up. I was ashamed of lying to her, but I was in no mood to involve myself with Zoe or the ball for the night. I slept early and turned my phone off, as I fell asleep I forgot everything for a second and dozed off. My slumber lasted only a few hours, I rose to my feet and stretched. It was only 10 O’clock, I dared to turn my phone back on. Hesitantly I did, much to my expectations I received a number of texts and phone calls, 99% of which were from Zoe. It appeared however that Zoe had given up on messaging me within the last hour. Part of me felt guilty, but I refused to let.
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