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Most people don't know this but directors always require a professional like me to pre-audition new talent. I pre-auditioned several well-known starlets. Directors insist on it. They won't even let you send a resume without a pre-audition.” “R-r-r-eally?” Annie seemed to be having trouble seeing straight.“Could we pre-audition?” Priya took the bait.“Well, you look good. Your voices are nice. If you want we could pre-audition right now.”There eyes widened. Grins spread across their young naive faces. I hoped the microphones were picking up everything.“CAN WE??!!” They both squealed in delighted unison.“Yes, right now. Directors mainly want to see you react in uncomfortable or intimate situations so they know you won't freeze up in front of the camera. Let's get started.” I gave them my most innocent look.“I-i-i-inti-ti-mate??” Annie managed but still kept her big smile. Looked a bit wobbly and flushed. Brownies and juice. Hash and booze. Fantastic.“Sir? What do you mean sir?” Priya's. The woman actually had a good voice, and unlike the previous singer she actually sang rather than shouted, although she did still sing in a loud and shouty kind of way."I didn't realise she was singing tonight," Jenny said to me, voice raised above the music. "They're called Fanny and the Fuckzines. The woman is Fanny. Obviously." Are you a fan of theirs?" I asked."Yeah," Jenny grinned, "Sort of."I listened to the singer, who was wailing the chorus to the opening song. The lyrics were hard to make out but there were a few uses of the word "fuck" and at least one reference to anal-sex."Nice lyrics," I commented, "Erm...I think. Anyway, what do you mean you're only 'sort of' a fan?" Well, I am a fan," Jenny said, sounding like she was hiding something, "It's just that...well, there's a rather...strange stage act the band does. Or, rather, what the audience does. Some of them anyway." Sound very cryptic, what do you mean?" You'll see." Tell me sis." Have patience Billy. It'll start soon.
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