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Our copulation was punctuated be her audible swallowing reflexes.A knock on the bathroom door. "Dave, you in there?"She stopped and spat my finger out. "Dave's not here!" she called out and giggled. "He went to the store." She looked back at me, covered her smile, and hunched her shoulders."Jesus Christ!" We heard him exclaim with dismay from the dining room."It's all fun and games until you get caught in the bathroom with his sister and she's dressed up like Lois Lane and drunk on 80 proof corn syrup," I whispered"Yes, Dave. It seems that the omelet of your virtue broke a few eggs," she replied. "I was hoping that removing your virginity would help you with the crushing anxiety you have over that girl and the cloud of chastity that was following you around," she continued."I don't understand," I said. "What's it to you—unless ... you care! You really do have feelings for me! Oh Karen, I—" Keep your voice down!" she warned. "Don't flatter yourself, haven't you been paying attention?. “I imagine their outrage will increase exponentially when I play the audio of my client asking to have your heavily armed and armored SWAT team members escort him to the restroom so he can urinate, as even that basic bodily function has been denied to him. Addressing his being the victim of the crime in which he was suspected to have committed isn’t required to obtain a multi-million dollar settlement on the mistreatment of a suspect by the police department.”She left that hanging out there as she locked eyes with everyone in the room, and then out in the hallway, seeing who was going to jump to action first.When no one moved to do anything she said, in a flat, stern, lawyer voice, “Let me say this very clearly. You will release my client immediately. If you fail to do so this audio and the live video feed will air on CNN in less than ten minutes from now.”Yeah, ok. They are really damn slow around here. Assholes. I wonder if I could get away with demanding they post “slow adults.
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