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I seem to remember my first pack of Trojan ribbed. Yeah, that’s right, “Ribbed for her pleasure!” Well the first her did not notice anything different, nor did any other hers, and nor did a couple of hims, over the years. I can’t help it. I have as much stock in the pleasure claims of condom packages as I have faith that when I go to a motel and see that thin strip of paper across the lid of the toilet that says, “Sanitized for your protection”, that it is actually anywhere near clean.Then I get to the next unique thing about the Trojan Fire & Ice. There are only ten in a box. Ten? I mean I know it’s 2010 and the economy is in the toilet, but can I really believe that Trojans are reducing their pack size the same way as Breyer’s Ice Cream and Ragu Pasta Sauce? I mean, up until I met my first wife I had always though of condoms as 12 fucks in a box, you just had to find a different box to put the actual fuck into, but basically that was what a box of condoms was to. It was smaller,much smaller. And, at the end of my smaller hands, I saw that my nailswere painted, pink of all colors. Was this a bad joke? I reached until Ifound the buzzer on the bed, and rang for help.The nurse came in and said, "You're awake! Finally! Let me call thedoctor and your mom."I must have banged my head harder than I thought. My mom and dad weredead. I should know, as I killed them. That one wasn't for money - itwas personal. They had been hugely abusive while I was growing up, andonce I started down my path, a little revenge seemed in order. Myquestion was soon answered when the doctor and the woman from the housecame into the room. The doctor was one of those young girls, who looklike she stepped out of High School and into a doctor's jacket.She said, "It looks like you're going to recover, although how, I don'tknow. I hate to use the word miraculous, but..."She checked me out and then left me with the woman. She smiled and said,"I guess we have a lot.
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