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. So I say to the old guy, "Tara says..." That would be me," the younger dude busts in. I stop and take another look at him and I wonder, 'Is this better? The old guy might have been desperate ... Shit, now I'm REALLY fucked!' And then I realize that I'm standing there looking stupid, scratching between my tits -- could shit get any worse?"Fuck." I look away. "This is Abe." Hey, Abe." Abe don't say shit, of course. There is a pause, then the guy says, "Tara tells me Abe prefers to have you around." Abe don't know no better." I can't even look at the guy, I'm so embarrassed."I'm sure he has his reasons," the guy says.I force myself to look at him. "Look, Mister -- this ain't my Sunday best -- but then..." I shrugged." ... This isn't Sunday?" the guy finished. "I'm a purist -- my women generally wear less." Like what? A brown paper bag?" Was he nuts? "Y'all are probably waitin' to see if I moo!" I've got udders, ya know? The size of fuckin' cantaloupes! And I'm fifteen! Can you IMAGINE. "That's complicated," she said frowning."What you mean is that it would take too much time to do for free," I suggested."No, I mean I may NOT be able to answer the question." It can't be THAT complicated," I said. "Surely children have property rights." Think about it, Bob. Up until about a hundred years ago children WERE property. Their parents had the right to sell them into indentured service and things like that. Children had no rights at all." OK," I said. "I get that, but that's all changed. Don't tell me the bleeding heart liberals haven't changed the laws by now." SOME of it has changed," she said, ignoring my barb about bleeding heart liberals. She was one and we both knew it. But she also knew I was just using a euphemism. "There's been legislation regarding children, but it's been piecemeal. There's law on what children CAN'T own, but I don't know of anything that says what they CAN own. I'm not sure there's any overreaching law on that particular issue. My guess is that.
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