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An elderly married couple was at home watching TV.The husband had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel... The wife became more and more annoyed and finally said: “For god’s sake! Leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish!”I opened my bedroom curtains very early this morning and to my astonishment saw a fox having a fight with a hedgehog.The hedgehog won on points.Just bought the wife a new sheepdog fur bra...”Aww” she said, “will it keep my tits warm?”I said “No, but it’ll round ‘em up and point ‘em in the right direction!”A farmer is getting dressed in the morning when his wife asks him why his Wellington boots have L and R marked on them “That’s so I know which boot to put on which foot, I put the R one on the right foot and the L one on the left foot” the farmer told his wife, to which she replied, “Ah, so that’s why my knickers have C&A on them”Two Women were chatting in office... Woman 1: “I had a fine. “It’s a spare, you know, from the pro shop. Just leave it on the deck when you leave.”The man sat down on the other side of her.“I take it you are here with your family,” he said.Helen nodded. “My parents. They’re out playing golf, or something.”“Checking the resort out? Are they planning to buy into a condo here?”A shrug of her shoulders flipped her make-shift bra teasingly. “Maybe, I guess. They got a free promotion or something, and wanted a vacation.”“So, maybe I’ll see you again sometime?” The white-haired girl shrugged again, drawing his attention to the flimsy garment on her chest. “Let me guess. You forgot to pack your own swimsuit.”“Yeah. I didn’t know you had so nice a pool.”“That one doesn’t really fit all that well, does it?”Her hair flipped as she shook her head.“It kinda looks like you don’t even need this piece,” Derek said, his finger tossing the edge of the blue material.“I know. I’m not very big there.”“No kidding?” the man said mockingly. “Would you dare go with.
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