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I know that even if I fight, I?ll fail anyway, and the same thing will happen, probably as soon as I start up the steps at the mall. The irony of the decision is not lost on me. I recognise the decision as a microcosm of my current lifestyle. Should I submit to and in some small way control and minimize the humiliation and hurt by complying and trying to make the best of things? Or should I put up a futile fight, knowing that my humiliation and suffering will ultimately be much, much worse. Knowing that it is a fight that I will eventually lose, but trying to retain the smallest modicum of pride?My ass is already feeling greasier and I?m struggling to hold on, particularly as the way I?m made to walk stretches my muscles much further than I?d like. My ass is twitching and, with a sinking feeling, I realize that fighting will be more uncomfortable in the short term and much more embarrassing and painful in the long term if I try to hold on. I wait until a couple of guys have passed me. Sarah made little conscious effort to assume her new role; it justseemed to come quite naturally. Her steps were short and her feet weremore in line when she walked than a boy's would be with her wristturned slightly out. She enjoyed the feeling of the nylon on her legsand the slight chill on her thighs and calves. She also noticed thesound of her high heels as they tapped along the path. She sighedaudibly which Ben immediately noticed."Are you OK?" he asked also sensing the tension in her arm as she heldon to him while they walked."Yes I'm fine," she said, "I was just thinking how nice this feels andhow natural" said Sarah. "I am beginning to think that I don't want tostop." Well, you don't have to, for a while anyway." What do you mean?" Look, I can see this wasn't the first time you have dressed as Sarahbut you have never been out like this, right?" Sarah nodded. "So, weare here until Monday and you can stay as Sarah until then if you wantto. I have to warn you though, if you carry.
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