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When I am alone on days like today, I feel the misery of choices I made so long ago. And I want to tell you all about it. I have issued my full apology so many times. The guilt still burns in me. There is just enough fuel in my mind to keep it going. But I don’t want to spend my life in misery over choices I have made. I suffered through many years, and I believe I’ve paid for my sins against you. Still, there you are, dominating my thoughts. Today, when my life has settled, when my nest is complete, and I have time to think, I spend most of my extra time thinking about you. There is a part of me that longs to break my promises in this life I have chosen. There are several parts of me that want to run away, to you. And yet, another part of me wonders if I am the biggest fool on earth for even thinking you care about me after all these years. I will never know if you only wish to watch me suffer like this, or if you also feel the burning desire to be together, again. It would serve me. For that, she was tightly roped up, stripped without delay and shoved outside of my room… where an entire line of kids awaited their turn to use her services. I sent Halley to oversee, make sure she wasn’t penetrated but all the same, be punished. Halley had told me later that he had tied her to a wooden chair and she was mindlessly used by several sex crazed underclass men, Halley included. Becky spent several days like this, suffering in supreme silence. Her world for all purposes had shattered and the glass was dropping upon her supple body. It was odd how comfortable she fell into it, despite the happenings. Even her freedom was a distant thing to her mind. Her body had been violated so much that even her soul had a little white cum spot splashed upon it. The first day was the hardest, so overcome with fear of the public eye that she escaped the horrors by hiding in the girls bathroom- a stall this time. That didn’t much work out… the sexually enticed teens raging with hormones, .
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