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I wasleft standing at the doorway with a bottle of wine and no idea what todo next. I wondered in, setting the wine down and looked around the place. Itwas quick to observe that although I had been invited neither of themhad any intention of including me as part of the conversation. I lookedat pictures as they served each other dinner. I enjoyed the view fromthe balcony as they ran their hands over each other and made out. Idrank all the wine and they shed their clothes and wrapped their bodiestogether to settle in for a long night. I may be young and I may be dense but I knew that I was not wanted. Theonly reason I hadn't left in the first ten minutes is that it was 30miles back home. My tentative attempts to include myself were ignored. When I tried to sit on the couch I literally got the boot pushing me tothe floor. After 45 minutes I was so fed up I taking the bus home wasbetter than this. Storming back to the front door I tried to force itopen, I yelled "Have fun I'm. Ready for him to bind me, to stare at me, to fuck me. I am ready to be controlled. I'm ready to be helpless. Eric takes the bar from my hands and firmly pushes me face down onto a padded bench at the foot of the bed. He steps over me and spreads my legs wide with his knees before locking one of my tiny ankles into each stock. One by one, he guides each of my wrists downward, placing my arms at my sides, until they too find themselves locked in securely next to each ankle. Every muscle in my legs and back strain, my face is buried in the bench and my ass is high in the air. I could never hold this position for long on my own, but I have been balanced like a tripod, denying me the ability to tip over no matter how tired my muscles may become. Eric is ready to fuck me now. I wobble on the bench as my knees settle lower, relying on him to hold me still – hold me stable – while he fucks me. There’s something about being slightly off balance, the dependence on him to protect me, that.
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