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Mom bought it special for Jen andwhatever." I pause for words. "I almost did cut it but I never triedagain."I'm not sure what I want to tell her and what I want to leave out. Idon't want her to know about Mr. Owens. Wait! I'm still angry about thediaper! The goddamn diaper she left me in!!!"I'm still angry about that shitty diaper you left me in!" I declare."Why didn't you help me?" I demand. "And what the hell?! You left meoutside, locked out of the house!" I'm sorry. Dave feels terrible about it too," she offers. "But you weredressed as a baby girl! You shit *yourself*. You deserved to be fuckedaround." She changes tone. "You didn't *enjoy* any of that, right?" Fuck no!" I bark. "I hated every second of it. I spent all last nighttrying to get out of those clothes and freaking out." I calm my voice."It was a nightmare. Fucking terrible!" I'm sorry. I should have helped you," she pleads."You didn't. You left me. I need help so badly and you slapped me andtortured me and..." I trailed. I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.How could anyone stoop so low.I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony, shaking a carpet.I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"An Emergency Call Centre worker has been fired in Toronto much to the dismay of her colleagues, who were unhappy with her dismissal. It seems that a caller dialed 911 from a cell phone stating, "I am depressed and lying on a railway line so that when the train comes I can finally meet Allah." To which the call centre employee replied, "Remain calm and stay on the line."A Scottish love story.A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, gazing out over the loch.For several minutes they sat silently. Then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus." Well, uh, I was thinkin'. Perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss."The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed.
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