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I haven’t heard from Dad and these videos have shaken me, I need recovery, a time-out. I need to process and sort the situation to understand my own feelings. I am repelled by the slutty behavior on the video, yet watching gave me a raging hard-on. Watching this woman I too had lusted after be so incredibly sexual and wanton made me want to fuck her even more than I had in my earlier fantasies. Hiding my laptop under the mattress I collapse onto the bed, lying on top of the bedspread with just my sleeping bag. When I wake it’s Seattle weather. Not rain but a heavy mist falling straight down, the air is washed clean and the smell of wetted ground is pleasant. My father died that morning. A bad reaction to the Chemo they said. Two days later dad had been cremated and the ashes brought to our home. That same day Barb, my step mother, a monumental slut (judging by her videos) and I meet with the same four attorneys from my meeting with my father. We are in fathers home-office for. ”“Oh.”“But they gave me some very good news too.”“What good news!?”“Jack? You love your brother and sisters, right?”“Yes mom.”“And Jill you and your brothers and sisters love each other, right?”“Yes, mom.”“Well your father and I found out today that you are going to have a new brother or sister.”“New?”“Yes.”“Can we have a brother please?”“MJ, I don’t get to choose if it will be a boy or a girl. So, we will just have to be happy with what we get.”“Mom, maybe it will be two like Jill and me!”“Oh my, maybe Jack, but that might make your daddy crazy!”“Daddy? Do we make you crazy?”“Yes, Jack. Crazy happy! Kids mom is tired, and I am going to hang up. Give Grams a big kiss from me and ask her to tell you about the skunks and me, OK?”“Yes daddy. Bye mom! We love you.”“I love all of you too. You too, Grams.”“We’ll see you in a few days Renee, thank you for protecting my grandchildren. I will never be able to thank you enough. Bye.”“Bye mom.”I picked the phone up, took it off speaker and I.
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