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As we sat talking, she had shifted her appearance back as it had been when we first met. I’m not sure if the technique is draining or if perhaps she just didn’t want me to think she was trying too hard. Either way, I still found the conversation to be pleasant.My mind was awash with alcohol, and I was thoroughly enjoying myself, continuing to taunt my hard-felt belief that she simply wanted the prestige of saying she had bedded me, my reputation is well known in her circles.“Oh come on, you still expect me to believe that you’re not trying to get me?” I asked with a bit of a slur. Pointing a finger towards her I continued, “I still think you’re hoping I’m going to slip up a--"I was interrupted by her suddenly reaching out and grabbing my hand. To my horror, I realized I had slipped up, my gesture had gone beyond the line. It was a fair grab, and if she decided to, she could pull me all the way across. Nuanced as it was, she was the reason I had crossed the line, and as far as other. I wanted to go for walks and hold hands. I would have loved to be allowed to go to a dance. Beyond that my mind would not focus.I knew from conversations I overheard, things my friends said around me, that there was something wrong with me. My attitudes about sex were not normal. But a fourteen year old girl can’t go to her parents and ask for sex counseling, especially not to my parents.I have a brother who’s a year younger than me and a sister who’s two years younger. So I have to assume my parents have sex. Try as I might, though, I certainly couldn’t imagine my uptight mother lying still for what I saw the men and women doing in those movies!When I was fifteen and a sophomore in high school, my parents finally allowed me to go to chaperoned parties and school dances, as long as I was driven to and from the dance by an adult.I was invited to my first dance by Brian Winters. I had a crush on him and you know how it works in school. Someone tells someone that someone likes someone.
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