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I asked him, ‘Why?’ He said, ‘Because you came home early.’My wife’s such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.I know I’m not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.My wife is such a bad cook. In my house we pray after the meal.My wife likes to talk to me during sex; last night she called me from a hotel.It’s been a rough day. I got up this morning and put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I’m afraid to go to the bathroom.I was such an ugly kid! When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio.I was such an ugly baby that my mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.I was so ugly my father carried around a picture of the kid that came with his wallet.When I was born, the doctor came into the waiting room and said to my father, “I’m sorry. We did everything we could, but he. "Get down on all fours, you perverted little dog!" The pink haired girl barked. I knew there was no use in resisting so submissively I obeyed. "We are going to walk you to your next class like this" she informed me, and with a yank of the collar we were on our way. Later on I would see the footage of this emerge online, my ass in the air with the pink diamond design poking out from between my cheeks, my undersized testicles jiggling back and forth as I walked, and the utter look of humilation and defeat in my face and body language as plain to see as the sadistic joy and torment in all of their faces, that is, all except for one. I noticed Jamie trying to act inconspicous, doing her best to hurry to her next class and not draw attention to herself, a pattern of behavior I was very familar with, but since she had now been associated with my humilation she was a target of the bully girls' ridicule. The biology teacher had not returned Jamie's panties to her, and from my position on the.
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