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FUCK, could I not get anything right in my life? I find a wonderful man, with two great kids, (a bonus for me, since I could not have children) who is single, but doesn't seem to have a mind to love me in the same way that I love him. CRAP!!! Then, I find a great man, who adores me, and loves me just the way I am, and isn't it just my luck that he is married. DOUBLE CRAP!!! I have to do something about Jack, and just when I decide to do this, two and a half months have passed by now, without contact, I get a one line email from him. ONE FUCKING LINE, in nearly three months. Okay, this really wasn't working for me! There is something that my favorite TV psychologist says that kept ringing true in my mind--"The greatest predictor of future behaviour, is present and current behaviour." If I was to pursue a relationship with Jack, this would be my life, weeks where he would pull away from me, (or I from him) and then expect everything to be hunky dory, when he wanted it to. It just degrades the woman to the level of a cheap fuck-slut, if you'll excuse my choice of words. Don't get me wrong. Sex is great, but it is so much better when it's something more than a cheap way to release happiness hormones into your brain. Sex with an average girl is nice, but making love to Her would be the ultimate pleasure.Yes, there is no mistake. It's not merely her, but Her with a capital letter, a hasted breathing and a sweet pain somewhere in the chest almost to the point of fainting. Doe. The mere name raised my spirits. I'm not going to tell you what she looked like or what character she had. Imagine the perfect girl of your dreams, not those cheap sleazy dreams you have about buxom blondes and foxy teens, but the high and sacred ones, which you keep deep inside and would never reveal to anybody. Then you'll understand how I felt.I first saw her in January, when one of my second-semester classes started. When I walked into the classroom and saw Her, I was stunned..
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