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I'm kind of an average-looking guy but I found that I had a way with words on the early internet and I was able to meet and get together with a fair amount of women for a guy that you wouldn't think would be into that. Definitely used the early internet as a successful dating tool I'll have to go back and think about how many women actually hooked up with that way.Anyway, one night we were chatting and it was clear that we're both interested in meeting up for sex and so she told me her address and I drove over. Gosh we were so nervous cuz we're both pretty straight arrows as it turns out but we were both horny and we had built up something of a relationship online and exchange pictures.I still remember that first night of her sitting down on the couch with me and waiting for me to make a move and I was fearless and trusted her and leaned in for a kiss and she was shaking like a leaf. But eventually I guess I was a good kisser so she got less nervous over time and we ended up making. That doesn't even capture theessence of what I mean. I'll decide to go for a walk, let's say, toget exercise, some air - but when I stop and consider what I shouldwear, make-up or no make-up, shoes, hair, I just get overwhelmedsometimes. So many infinite possibilities it seems. And still, Ihave no set fashion, or style. It's how people communicate who theyare. Do I wear Talbots, black leather pants or Banana Republic? Iwant a tattoo, I think. I want to pierce my ears again. At least myears. I want to look slutty. But I don't. I experiment with allthe million gradiations in between. But still, even just walking inslacks or a skirt, I can't escape the reality that I have eggs, aclit, fallopian tubes, a cervix. I want to prove it. I want someoneto see me.I kept thinking about that. I started watching myself in the mirrorand imagining how others must see me. For the first time, I startedtaking some pictures of myself. I think I was afraid to before. Orsomething. I.
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