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But she didn't feel now that she'd been severely and permanently damaged, and there was a certain relief in being free from the constant want and frustration that had previously nagged her. She remained free of this want for several days, though after that time she felt it creeping back over her. But she didn't return to the shop yet, as she had determined to take a full two weeks off, even if it did hurt her business. Then she would figure out how to face the rest of her life.The following Sunday was rainy and San Francisco lay almost in darkness beneath a thick blanket of clouds. But Jennifer liked rain, especially on days like this when she had no intention of going out. It seemed an added insulation from the outside world, and she found it immensely pleasurable just to laze around her apartment and watch it patter against the window. She had picked up a bottle of whiskey for medicinal purposes, to help her sleep, but she decided that in celebration of the rain it wouldn't hurt. "Submissive cuck" may have been part of my personality, but it wasn't all of it. The Dom side was still there and much more effective a role for other parts of my real world life. So, we decided that once or twice a year we would have special "Adventures" where we would indulge the "darker" regions of our beings - but with clear boundaries - and live the rest of the time as "Vanillas." Well, "flavored Vanillas" -- the ropes, clamps and floggers were still in the closet. We also agreed we weren't looking for romance - just athletic sex. We both started to work out and lost 10 lbs and built up our stamina, though Jaye retained a bit of a tummy -- not unattractive in a mature woman. Then we chose vacation spots or getaways where a large Black population could be expected, and we would look for partners for Jaye. That approach had mixed results and got us into one or two dangerous spots, so we had considered not trying again and letting Jamaica remain an erotic memory. Early in December.
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