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" I wish I could go with you ... but ... that's not what you want, is it?" she said quietly."No ... I need some space and time to think about what I want for myself. Matt will be off to college in the not-too-distant future, and Jess won't be far behind. I'll be forty this December. Half my life is gone and I want to be sure that whatever I decide, I'll be satisfied and happy with it."I'd been staring out the side window as I talked, but I turned and looked at Ali. I saw tracks of tears on her cheeks. I didn't know what to do about that. Should I tell her not to worry? Should I tell her that it will be all right? I said nothing. We spent the rest of the drive in silence.There was something about Ali's reaction to my comments in the car that was bothering me. Not a worrisome bother, but a nagging feeling that I wasn't properly interpreting what I was seeing. No one was home when we arrived at the house. The children were all in school and Reese was at work. We had plenty of time before. In the back of her closet I noticed a loose floor board under some boxes, and lifted it up to see under. It was like the movies with a stash of items dust covered and tucked in there from Sarah's younger days. There were a couple of diaries with just the first few pages filled with teenage dribble, some naughty Polaroid shots of her in pretty crazy positions wearing almost nothing, a set of big anal beads, and an old vibrating dildo with no batteries.I had played with my butt more than once; using a well Vaseline'd two finger combo while jacking off in stockings and some of my moms heels, but had never had much more up there. Dying to try it out I quickly abandoned my snooping and fled to the basement grabbing the petroleum jelly on the way by the upstairs medicine cabinet. I lubed up the beads and slowly worked them in, feeling that initial pain, and then intense pleasure once the tight hole relaxed. I did the same with the old 8 inch dildo, but it was more than I could handle and.
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