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I'll stand outside and listen to your conversation," I said as I kissed her a last time, before I got up and pulled on my clothes. Before Carmen could voice any objection, I left the room.---When it was bedtime that evening, I silently walk into the backyard, so I could peek into Peter and Carmen's bedroom. It was quite dark as I got into my old peaking spot just outside the window. Hiding behind the window, I watched Peter laying on their bed while he was talking to Carmen. I could hear everything, so I just waited for Carmen to make her move."Peter, I have some news we have to discuss." Carmen said."Yeah, please tell," Peter smiled at his wife."I'm pregnant," Carmen replied."You're what...." Peter spluttered as he sat up in the bed with a shocked expression on his face."I'm pregnant. We're going to have another c***d." Carmen whispered."Please tell me you're k**ding Carmen. We can't have a c***d, we're to old. How could this happen?" The condom must have been broken." Carmen. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo’ drizzle.Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines everywhere!Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a well-known six offender.What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he’s only got his shelf to blame.What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? Feyoncé.Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like banana.How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb? Let’s go play on our bikes.What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror.Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks “How do you drive this thing?”Why can’t a bike stand on its own? It’s two tired.Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out man!Last night I almost had a threesome, I only.
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