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They’re close-by, they have a nine-o’clock service and I’m thinking maybe that, unlike the Methodists, their average age might be a little under eighty. I don’t know that much about the Unitarians but I hear they’re on the liberal side. Maybe their preacher won’t be quite as sleep-inducing as the local Methodist guy had been a few weeks back.So I find a place close to the front -- I’m in the fourth row -- and sure enough, their pastor is a youngish looking guy, partially balding but sturdy, and he’s telling us about how God shouldn’t be thought of as this “anthropomorphic being,” but rather simply as a “creative force” in the universe.I thought that sounded pretty sensible and modern, but a little while later, after the guy quit sermonizing, he says, “Let us pray,” and everybody bows their heads and he starts out, “Oh, Great Creative Force...” and I kind of sputter a little bit to keep from just laughing out loud, because, to me, Old GCF sounded pretty anthropomorphic at that point.. .. yeah, I know you passed basic Math. I knocked Candy up three months before we married but the wedding had already been planned and her pregnancy was a wonderful event for both of us.As I said, Candy had joined me in the shop. She was fully dressed and I figured she was on her way out for her weekend shopping day.“Hi, Honey. What brings you out to the man cave? You want to get naked and have some fun on the hood of my car,” I said jokingly.“Andy, I have something to say and I hope you will be the understanding man that I’ve known for the past seventeen years.”“Ok, shoot, Baby. I’m all ears,” I said as I continued to polish the fender.My wife said, “Andy, I’ve fallen in love with another man.”“Ok, I’ll bite. What’s the punch line?” I kept polishing waiting for her to continue but she didn’t. I stopped, turned around and looked at her. She was just staring at me and I saw a tear roll down her beautiful face.“Your serious, aren’t you?”She nodded. I was speechless. I usually can come up.
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