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"Do you imagine it as a homosexual encounter?" No, actually I don't. That's what's weird. It's more like I'm a woman doing it with a man. I'm a woman, or feel a woman." And it seems strange? Imagining you're a woman?" Yeah. It's not a gay thing, how I think about it. Definitely not gay. Afterwards I hate myself for doing it and I promise I'll stop, never do it again." "You feel guilty." Not exactly," James said, "I think, why do I do it, it's just that it's . . . crazy, perverted. I say I'll stop. I won't do it any more. But then I get the urge and I do it again." Has there been times when you refused to give in to the urge?" Only if I couldn't do it, like if my wife was home, or I had work to do." And how do you feel then?" I don't think I feel anything. I just know I can't so I forget about it." Do you feel anxious?" No. Not that I'm aware of," James said."We're out of time," the therapist said. "I'd like to suggest something, James. Next time you get the urge, don't give in to it. My phone rang and I heard that grating voice of Carl Manning when I answered "Johnson". "You stupid shit, who are you threatening. They can't hit you and you can't hit them. We'll wait for the right time to come to kill you." I hope your men can swim, Carl, because I'm going to sink that beautiful 30 or 35 foot fishing boat. Listen while I take care of the boat, and then you can try to call your men, Carl. I hope they can swim and they'll be swimming right into my range. Listen carefully."I ranged, aligned, and fired an explosive round right at the water line of the bow. I next put another round into the rear waterline that must have had some effect on the engine compartment because I could see flames on the deck. Men were jumping overboard and I counted up to eight before I lost track in the cloud of smoke."All your men are in the water, Carl. I don't think any of them were hurt, but they have lost their long weapons and there will be a welcoming party for them when they swim ashore..
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