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"Just doing my homework." Yeah," Kyle replied without enthusiasm. "I had to memorize the Gettysburg Address." Did you do it?" Sorta," Kyle laughed. "Wanna hear it?" Sure," I listened as he rattled off Lincoln's most famous speech and I told him it sounded good to me, but I had no idea if it was right or not. I'd never memorized the stupid thing."Hey, um ... I was thinking..." I looked around just to make sure I was alone in the kitchen. "If you still wanted, I mean..." I stumbled, trying to get the words out."Wanted what?" Kyle might have been playing with me, but I didn't think so."Well, if you wanted to take me to a movie or something?" I asked, holding my breath."You mean on a date?" Kyle sounded a little nervous too. "You want to go out with me?" Yeah," I breathed. "On a date, you know, um ... Just me and you and, uh, well..." Yes!" I could almost hear the ka-ching of his arm pumping the air and then he toned it way, way down. "I mean, yeah, I want to. Can you go out tomorrow?". He then made his way to my table and asked what I had said when I hit on the brunette.“I never did hit on her. She asked what was on my shirt and I told her. If she told you I hit on her, she’s a fucking liar, Billy.”Neither of us had seen the woman in the VFW before. Billy eased back to her table, whispered something to her, patted her on the back and walked away.When the game was over, she picked her things up and left. Buy-in was only five dollars that night, so she didn’t lose much by leaving.Three games later, we had a thirty minute intermission. As I snacked on some Bit-O-Honey morsels, Billy appeared beside me, again, “I gotta hand it to ya, Don. You got balls wearing that shirt in public. Has it got you any pussy, yet?”“You wouldn’t, fucking, believe how much pussy this shirt has led to. I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but it’s brought me some sex with women from 16 to 62 already. Even the woman who printed it turns loose of some cunt every time her husband is out of.
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