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I thought you’d have been pleased to see me…guess I thought wrong. You really are the bitch everyone says you are. I was now stunned by her again for the wrong reason, she had been intentionally ignoring me? I’m a bitch? Who says I’m a bitch and why? Another buzz in my hand. Followed in quick succession by a few more buzzes, phone dancing in my hand. I missed you Sarah. I wanted to see if you had missed me as much as your messages suggested. The kiss has clearly shown me that you just wanted another quick relief… You went so quickly after the lecture I had no time to talk to you. I made a reply. What do you mean people say I’m a bitch? Who says that? I am pleased to see you…you have no idea how, well, how wet I am to put it bluntly. (This wasn’t a lie, I was soaking) Of course I missed you as much as my attempts to contact you suggested. That was why I was trying so much. I was losing hope of you still wanting me in the end… Quick relief? QUICK RELIEF? Haven’t you noticed. But the crying I did after the separation must have gone a far way filling up that hole. Yeah, that separation made me a real danger on the road, and as I told you, crying and me found us a real tight relation those years.I'd read all those macho stories on the net and at times I felt the allure of them too, loading that gun and blowing the bitch and her new man out of their shoes and life's. But hell, we had two kids together and she was still a better mom than me. I wasn't the mothering type, and the way I had grown up I didn't really felt like a role model for anyone. But it had still cost me my kid's, I couldn't be there as I had dreamt too, once, not in their normal daily life's. And that had been my strongest dream once.And it was a promise made, right? After all, I had told her once that if she ever felt it, or us, wrong she just had to tell me and I would walk. And she was right, I didn't own her. Maybe that was the problem. That time I had tried to tell her how I felt, so.
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