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.. too many meant notice and the one thing everyone wanted was to be anonymous ... unheard, unseen ... nothing to see here, nothing to see ... move along, move along.The men ... one was an electrician ... magician more like ... in a different life, a better place, a better time. All gone now, flown like a great horned owl from tree to meadow and back, a life clutched in a claw, now ripped open with with beak and swallowed. Soon to litter the floor beneath his tree ... a skull wrapped in fur. The men had nothing.They had power and lights ... light ... thanks to the magician ... with wires so cleverly hidden in the roots and brush, some hanging like vines that had green leaves growing.The children, solemn, bleak, so bent on thievery. Moving quietly, pacing the grey clad woman ... but she had a knife and she had used it before and would again. She was too aware ... too alert, they faded away looking for someone, or thing, a little less awake. She heard them go ... actually ... she heard. I don’t know why we lost it. I wish he’d help me fix it. I even asked about counseling again, but he told me ‘Absolutely not’. He said the marriage was something I had to fix, not him.”Brad James handed her the other diary open to a page near the end. “And validate and read this page please.”“Yes, this is mine, dated August 19, 2016, Friday. Brian sent me several text messages during the day. Every one was a downer and made me feel badly about myself. ‘Why are you even living you are so worthless?’ ‘How can you stand to be around other people? Don’t you know they’re laughing at you behind your back?’ ‘Since we got married you’ve done nothing but change for the worse.’ ‘You exist. Is that the best you can do? Wouldn’t the world be a better place without you?’ At home that night, he went on a rant about how I never remembered what he liked for dinners or drinks, and that I was always fucking up. He said similar things to me the day before, too; one I remember especially, ‘Your dying.
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