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In meinem Herzen bin ich ein Maedchen. Ich mag keine Buben. Ich will mit Buben nichts zu tun haben.Morgen in der Schule, morgen auf dem Klo werd' ich's machen. In der Maedchentoilette. In die Bubentoilette gehoere ich eh nicht sagen einige Buben meiner Klasse. In diesem Fall bin ich sogar mal deren Meinung. Ich werd's tun. Ich werd's tun! Ich leih' mir von Papa das Ersatzbrotmesser aus, das er im Keller in dem linken Schrank so schoen saeuberlich in Papier eingewickelt aufbewahrt.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx - EIN JAHR SPAETER - xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxIch hab's getan. Ich habe mein Leben veraendert. Heute ist es mir unerklaerlich, wie ich damals den Mut dafuer habe aufbringen koennen. Meine Therapeutin sagte mal, mein innerer Schmerz waere zu jener Zeit so gross gewesen, dass ich dadurch die Angst vor diesem zu erwartenden koerperlichen Schmerz nicht mehr als beaengstigend empfunden haette. Mag schon sein.Meine "Selbstbehandlung" ging uebrigens fast schief. Aber, waere sie schief gegangen,. I could feel the first stage of a hard on and was trying to clear my head of such thoughts before I went downstairs. Amber was sitting up in bed covered by a sheet. She had her knees propped up and had a book propped against her knees. She said, “I thought for a minute there that you weren't coming to tuck me in”. I walked over to the bed a looked down at her, she was so beautiful. Her brown hair fell to just below her shoulders and looked soft and silky. She has the most perfect skin, slightly pale but pink in all the right spots. Her lips are full and her bottom lip was showing just a hint of a pout. She held out her arms and said, “Hugs”. As I bent over to give her a quick hug she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me on the cheek. As I began to pull away she quickly grabbed my head with both hands and kissed me directly on the lips. I pulled away and looked directly into her eyes. She was smiling that same smile she had given me in the car.My reaction shocked even me. I.
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