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The man I still loved was miserable. And it had nothing to do with the wedding or Corinne. In that one glance, I learned everything I needed to know.In that fraction of a second, our connection was returned, and I got a partial understanding of exactly how badly he was hurting. It had been six months ... it had been a little more than twenty-four weeks. It had been one hundred and eighty-three days ... but for him it was still a raw and open wound.In fact, seeing me ... locking eyes with me ... had come far too soon. Corinne’s attempt to hurt my brother and embarrass me, had been successful, but its success carried a heavy price.And the distress on her face as Mark slumped beside her, as if hit with an emotional sledgehammer told her the whole story.It hit me even harder because as our eyes had linked, I hadn’t been limited to just seeing how badly hurt he was, as Corinne did. I felt it. Mark and I had loved each other so fiercely that we ... we were that disgusting couple that. C., and all-in-all that part of our trip was just as we had imagined it might be. Full of so many places we had been before, seen now from the radically different perspective of the river-borne. When you approach a place from the water for the first time, even the known becomes a very different place. You can’t anything for granted, especially memory. This year was – in some ways – no different than the year before, but then again everything was different. Life on board was different now, and in so many ways that every little routine felt odd – it was as if I felt out of place – like time was — now — somehow an old, foreign land I had been to many times, yet suddenly, now I was a trespasser — and alone. It wasn’t that the boat felt different — no, this was my world, my unmoved mover. Yet the one constant in my universe was gone, my Polaris had vanished, and I was adrift in a patternless sea of stars. I couldn’t find my way through the chaos, because the patterns I saw in this new sky.
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