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EGERTON, MISS EVELYN, ELIZAThere were three of us — Mary, Eliza, and myself. I was approaching fifteen, Mary was about a year younger, and Eliza between twelve and thirteen years of age. Mamma treated us all as c***dren, and was blind to the fact that I was no longer what I had been. Although not tall for my age, nor outwardly presenting a manly appearance, my passions were awakening, and the distinctive feature of my sex, although in repose it looked magnificent enough, was very sufficiently developed when under the influence of feminine excitement.As yet, I had absolutely no knowledge of the uses of the different organs of sex. My sisters and I all slept in the same room. They together in one bed, I alone in another. When no one was present, we had often mutually examined the different formations of our sexes.We had discovered that mutual handlings gave a certain amount of pleasing sensation; and, latterly, my eldest sister had discovered that the hooding and unhooding of my. Comparable. Apples and oranges, if you would. If Maddie and I had stayed together, I would have never considered exploring it, but as it is... I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I'm not a romantic. I don't believe in 'happily ever after' anymore. Having it come crashing down around my ears tends to induce a more jaded outlook. I had thought that Olivia and I would last forever, which didn't happen. It would have been wonderful had Maddie and I lasted, but I had been dubious about our long-term chances even before Callista dropped her bombshell. Even soulmates had to face reality, and a seven-year gap is difficult to bridge in the best of circumstances. Love can move mountains, but it doesn't more often than not.None of this begins to justify Morgan and I hopping into bed the same day Maddie and I broke up. Interesting thing is, had the situation been reversed, Maddie and I would have done the same thing. Except that we'd share nothing more than a good-night kiss before.
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