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"You're new here. It lets other people know that you may not know all the rules here, and that you haven't had the training they've had, but you're not a virgin. Now let me show you how the gropes are done. See me fingering my slit? That means it's OK to grope me. So grope me!"I put my hand on her hairy cunt. It was the first time I had ever touched another woman's vulva. "Part my lips," she said. "Don't be shy." I did so, and gave my own cunt a stroke with my free hand. She smiled and pressed her hand against my own bush. I felt her middle finger gently parting my folds, and the palm of her hand pressing against my clitoral hood. Then she gave me a peck on the cheek. I knew what that meant, but the idea of me sticking a finger up her vadge was still a little too radical for me."Do I have to?" I said quietly."Of course not," she replied. "You don't have to do anything you don't feel like doing. But my kissing you was my way of saying that I trust you to the point where you're welcome. For some time I had been feeling a bit depressed with middle age having arrived unannounced and after suffering my despair in silence for some time my wife finally attacked."For God's sake! Why don't you get off your fat, lazy arse and get out and do something exciting. It might take your mind off your age and will get you out from under my feet."I stalked out in an offended huff and retired to the pub, drowning my sorrows in a couple of pints. I was leaning on the bar reading a newspaper that some previous customer had abandoned when it leapt off the page and hit me right between my eyes:"Parachute Jumping. The ultimate thrill and adrenaline rush. Classes starting soon. Contact blah blah blah..."I couldn't phone quick enough and I was soon registered as a trainee and eagerly anticipating the beginning of my life-changing activity.When I told the dragon what I had done her scornful laugh cut me to the quick and when she went on to point out the danger involved to an elderly codger.
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