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My mom wasn’t to blame for any of it, she was a hard worker that had to pick up the slack when my piece of shit father decided that shooting up was more important then taking care of his family. Mom was always working to put food on the table and I was left to my own devices for the most part, and everything was going great until I reached the age where you start realizing that people have things that you don’t. I wanted things too, nice car, nice clothes, money in my pocket, reasonable expectations for an 18 year old boy.Let’s go back to the limited opportunities thing again. College wasn’t a realistic option because number 1, I couldn’t afford it, and number 2, by the time I graduated high school I was so disenfranchised with the whole idea that I just said fuck it. I was always a firm believer in the old saying “if you’re gonna do something, do it right, or don’t do it at all”. I was intelligent, disgruntled, and angry at the world. My mother had me late in life and she was. I could hear the shovel as it scrapped against the concrete walk. I figured I'd have to shovel it again myself when he was done. I didn't have much time for kids anymore. I had tried to be nice to some children after my son had died. The mothers would quickly pull them away from me, like I was some kind of a pervert.I was about to get up and fill my glass when I heard a knock at my door. I slowly made my way to the living room and opened the door."I've finished your walk," the young boy said with a smile. "I sure hope you like it."It was the look on his face that caught me completely off guard. In his eyes I saw excitement and eagerness. His whole face radiated hope. There was something in his manner that drew me to him. I was surprised by my reaction and it made me uncomfortable."Here's your money kid. Now get lost," I gruffly said. I felt more comfortable with my hardened exterior and I wasn't about to let my guard down.The boy looked at the twenty that I had handed him. I don't.
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