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The imagined view of those stone flags rushing up toswitch me off vanished and I turned, without thinking. Hazel hadn't movedfrom the door, her eyes shone - wide and pleading, but I saw nothing of aboy, only a woman - tall in heels and elegant in her skirt. Another liar."You know nothing." I know you're not a boy." Then don't force me to live as one." I won't call them. Not today. Give me a day, just one. Please."I showed her my back, rested a hand on the window catch. "What differencewill a day make?" Aren't you even a little bit curious?"A warm, spring laden draught flowed through the window when I pushed itopen, I leaned out, examining the stones of the service yard behind thehotel. A woman in a chef's uniform sat on a step beside a door reading abook and smoking. I caught a sniff of her cigarette and memories of smokelayered rooms filled with naked, sweating men steeled my intent.Hazel didn't move. Even when I found enough strength to boost myself upto sit on the windowsill with. My wedding was scheduled to occur later this year. I have never met my future spouse, so I feel no attraction towards him, and what is worse, I have developed feelings for a poor boy. He has always been kind to me, but more importantly he was always kind to my mother, who although she is a wife in a family of high social status, is not the prettiest in my father’s harem of wives. It disturbs me that father debases and abuses her, but what is absolutely deplorable to me is that my mother has never experienced being loved and desired by a man. The only world she has ever known is that of being used by a man as a sex toy, or as a beast of burden used to bear children…preferably sons. I am usually shy, and the veil that covers my face has always hidden me from the prying eyes of men; although not of the highest position, I am still of royal birth. I do not usually gaze upon men, for to do so in the presence of my father would have subjected me to much abuse. Once, years ago at a young.
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