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The loss of my Aunt was just the first of my trials over the last few weeks. You see, I was so obsessed with the Japanese guy that I went away with him without telling the hospital, and they are now threatening me with removal from the nursing course. And then preparing for the wedding has been stressful. My sister could relieve herself with her husband-to-be: sometimes just a curtain separating me from the happy couple, but I had no-one. Then Rose asked me if I would like to work at her club, and I've had all that to think about....Although my sister and I haven't always got on very well, I was surprised to find how emotional I felt at the ceremony. It isn't even as if they are going away to live, as they will be moving in with us next weekend. At the moment they are away in Manila, but they'll be back on Friday night. My Dad has got some workmen in to build a partition across my bedroom, so that they'll have some privacy, but as it's only plywood, I don't suppose it'll provide that. Not now. Not ever.’ She asked simply, ‘Then what is my purpose? What is my raison d’être?’ Quietly I ground my teeth. Never in my life–nor my afterlife–had I had to struggle with myself as I did now to keep my composure. That–accent! I exhaled slowly, and I composed myself anew before I dared to speak again. ‘Honestly, I don’t know. And, honestly, I couldn’t care less. It’s as I said before, that is completely and most absolutely up to Sir.’ ‘Then who…?’ ‘Who am I?’ She nodded. ‘And what? What purpose do you serve?’ Had my heart still beat beneath my breast, it would have stopped then and there. For the first time in my existence I was dumbstruck–and I despised it. And I despised her for bringing it out in me. My instincts leapt at the opportunity and bid my muscles to flex to reach towards her, to seize her and to take her and to tear her asunder and to rend her limb from limb… All of this I saw so clearly in my mind, in an instant, as if I’d acted out the dreadful deed without a.
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