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This will kill any hopes of a vacation to anywhere — anytime. We've been trying to save up for years, and we're losing ground. We had almost two thousand saved before the storm hit Smith Hill." Five hundred?" Yeah. And that will leave us how much in the kitty?" About three fifty or a little more." Looking at her husband with love, she added, "When you stopped here to eat, you had big plans. Those plans changed to marrying me, and living here to be a big rancher. Over the years, all that turned into a preacher for a little church that can barely support itself, and whose preacher has to stock a grocery store at night to make ends meet." But you wanted kids — kids that the Good Lord didn't see fit to send us." Kids that we don't have to feed right now," she said standing to clean up the kitchen. "Go grab a nap in the guest room. Maybe it wasn't the best idea I've ever had putting her in our bed, but it was the nearest room." No matter," he said getting up. "As tired as I am right now,. Ahmed has been telling me about these fantasies he has been having, about me being seen naked by other men, and he wants me to have sex with them. I have told him no, that I could NEVER do anything like that. I am however torn by my sexual appetites, and my need as I get older to have satisfying sex, and my religious mandate to do as my husband says. I know that it is wrong on many different levels to have sex with someone other than my husband, but if that is what he needs to make him happy, then according to Islam, a woman must obey her husband, so I should give him what he wants. I feel like I am caught in a decision that has no right answer, no matter which way I go, it will be wrong. There is also the desire to let myself go and enjoy the pleasure that another man would surely bring, but also the fear of going through with the act, and the possible ramifications of such a thing. What if I get pregnant by someone of another race? What if he has a sexually transmitted disease? How.
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