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After long, careful thought, I’ve come to terms with it and I’m comfortable with it.”“OK,” Bethany said, speaking slowly. “That’s at least as bad as what I told you after the dance, but in some ways, it’s far worse. I don’t even know what to say.”“Which is why I had to tell you now, before anything else happens.”“Doctor Mercer deals with incest as well, Steve. Have you talked to her about this? I know one girl who she treats that had sex with her brother and has serious problems because of it.”“No, I haven’t, and I don’t plan to. I don’t think either of us has any problems with this. And it’s not an accidental thing nor is it a spur-of-the-moment thing. Stephanie and I talked about it before I left for Sweden. From the time I knew until the time it happens, it will be two years or so.”Bethany sat quietly as I drove. I made a turn that would take us back towards Milford and waited for her to think things through. My stomach was queasy. What would happen if Bethany said nothing else. I like to think I’m more than a one-dimensional person. I would be very disappointed in myself if I couldn’t step up and make a new life. ‘What really hurts is that Cindy is not here to walk by my side in all this. I feel better about how she has handled things. I couldn’t give up the law enforcement work voluntarily — even if it would have saved my marriage. Now? Hell, I don’t know. It’s been lonely and I … well I’ve never stopped loving her. I just don’t know, Joe.’ Mary lingered to chat with me. ‘Jerry, if I’m out of line, let me know. I don’t know if you knew or not but I’ve been having lunch with Cindy fairly often since she — well, since she left you. I know how hurt you were but you do understand that she never stopped loving you, don’t you?’ I started to explode with my first thought: ‘Well, if she loved me so much, why did she throw her ring at me and tell me to give it away? Why did she insist on a divorce?’ I realized I was clenching my fists and had half risen up. I.
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