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Janey kept making the point that we’re teenagers and we’re supposed to be fooling around now and it doesn’t mean anything. I’m not a hundred percent sure about that.”“What about you and Sandy?”“I think it has a meaning within the context of our friendship. I don’t think I would have agreed to be with her if we weren’t good friends first.”“Which maybe explains Janey? And maybe even Mindy?”I chuckled, “Mindy, at first, was because of my little sister, but also because she’s in High School. I made the mistake of saying THAT to Janey and she got really upset because I’m only about seventeen months older than she is. But I just didn’t have the same feeling about Janey that I did Sandy. I guess, in the end, I do think what Sandy and I are doing has meaning, and I think she’d agree.”“Have you talked to her about it?”“No. I think both of us are just sort of ignoring that to avoid complicating things. Why?”“I guess I’m just wondering at which point she becomes your girlfriend, you know, de. "First, his control was always very iffy, but if he could concentrate, he could lay down some firm short time instructions that I had no choice but to obey and follow. Especially in those early two years before we were married. I think I had become his absolutely favorite plaything, and just my being around him gave him pleasure at the way he had stolen me from you, and then framed you into a life in prison. When that thrill wore off after the wedding, I began to have more 'independence' but what could I really do? You were now in jail for life, where could I run? Home? He'd find me there too, and maybe cause dreadful things to happen to my parents, or other people I loved. I couldn't take the chance." There must have been something that you could have done?" I insisted."Murdering him? I certainly considered it, but I think I had been programmed by him not to be able to. I couldn't even hold a knife in my hand and think thoughts of killing him, without my hand going limp and I'd drop.
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