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And it wasn’t just sex. I felt I needed the warmth of female companionship. Male bonding was all well and good, but without a woman nearby I felt a cold, black emptiness within me. Hell, once I even let an old bag lady share my loft, just for the company, but I had to throw her out when I found out she was stealing my art supplies and selling them to the guy next door. When it comes to women, out of sight is out of mind, which is where I would have been if I’d stayed in the city. On the island I found myself. The boy in me came alive again as I climbed the trees, trapped small, furry animals, and swam naked in the sea. I had regained paradise. And then, along came Vanessa and fucked it all up. Now I know what you are going to say. Compared to the curses with which so many of the people of the world are afflicted, Vanessa is not that bad. I know. I could have cancer, or be a quadraplegic, or a World Wrestling Federation fan. And you’re right. But if I said, “Yippee, hooray for. ”“No, you aren’t.”“I’m so ashamed, you deserve a better father than me.”“I’m sorry, Daddy, for acting up like I did.”Stunned, I responded, “You have nothing to be sorry about! You just need a little guidance is all, and I…”I raised my head at this point, she was still bent over on the couch arm, her red cheeks and dripping sex was clearly visible, too. She looked at me with her wet face and sad eyes.“Daddy? Do you still love me?”“Of course I do, sweetheart! More than anything!”“Well, I need, like, a hug or something.”Oh shit! I just left her standing there, crying, bent over and basically naked! I was so into myself I didn’t even think about her. God, I suck at parenting!“Ash, come here, baby.”I held my arms open wide and she practically jumped in my lap. Our arms wrapped around each other tightly, and I stroked her hair, and made little comforting “shhhhh” noises as she cried quietly, her face buried in my robe. I also said “I’m sorry” about three hundred times, in between little.
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